dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
