think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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