I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
