I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize