where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
