GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
ttyl tear gas
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
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