Welp...herpes.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Boobs are out for the taking
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Randomize
