Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
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