i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize