Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
No...this little piggys going to the bar
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
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