Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize