try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
