Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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