How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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