Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
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i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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