I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
