Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Randomize
