i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
