This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
