Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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