Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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