So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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