I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize