Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize