What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
