idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
