I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
