If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
