Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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