You're my little dorito
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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