i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize
