Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I am puke
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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