For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
