i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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