Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
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As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
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Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
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