i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Randomize
