Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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