You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
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