nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
