Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Just invented taco cereal.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
