TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
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