I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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