so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?