I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
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Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.