How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
you have to choose: penises or morals?
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
