I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
