Porn is love you can see.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
