Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
So much Jack, so little girl.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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