i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
