whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
