THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Acid is not a monday night drug
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
