toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
