More tranny stories later!
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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