I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
