I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
