It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
he puts the penis in happiness.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
