How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
