So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Randomize
