I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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